I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
