I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
