i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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