I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
