Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
