He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
