so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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