I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
