Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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