Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize