I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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