Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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