talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
