I don't think brook has ever known best
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize