[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
