Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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