he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm at about main and main street
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
