The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
