So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
