Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
