She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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