You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
