fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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