I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
