OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
