You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize