I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize