I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You have to summon your inner elephant
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
