cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
