Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
