He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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