Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
