Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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