He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This baby is an asshole
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize