sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
