cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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