Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
