ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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