hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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