Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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