I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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