u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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