So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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