Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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