The maid of honor just puked.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My vagina is very pro this idea
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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