id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
