Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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