The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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