Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
