I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
