I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
