The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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