your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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