does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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