So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
