Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
