Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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