sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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