Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
