You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what day is it and did you see me today?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
