stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize