kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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