Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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