your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
